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You know, I was thinking about it, and Ireland wouldn’t have nearly as complicated a history if it wasn’t for Britain. Britain–well, England at the time–was like an historical Ike to Ireland’s Tina Turner.
Yeah. That bad.
So please forgive me, my British family and friends, J.K. Rowling, Richard Armitage, Jane Austen, Judi Dench, Cadbury’s chocolate, Maggie Smith, Stephen Fry, Underground lady who says “mind the gap,” David Tennant, James May, MiniCooper, Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Shakespeare, guy who invented the Dyson vacuum cleaner (oh, Dyson, I guess), Gordon Ramsay, Ricky Gervais, Coldplay, JRR Tolkien, and the legions of other British people and institutions I love and admire. I think Britain has to take the hit on this one.
So Britain: you screwed up. Maybe it’s time for a little payback. You ruled Ireland with an Iron Fist for a few centuries, and messed them up pretty good–how about we send you a certain unemployed leader called George W. Bush to take the helm for a while? Let’s say, 8 years? And then we’ll call it quits. I think that’s payback enough.
He may want to wear a crown, but you won’t have to change your Constitutional Monarchy for that–just let him wear it. And you will have to endure his attempt to mock an English accent (you can always get him a West Country dialect coach.)
Oh, and if you want to keep him quiet, just try to find some brush for him to clear. He likes clearing brush.
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