Six Characters in Search of a Blogger


2.4 Doug Reinhardt: A “Baseball Player” and a “Gentleman”
November 20, 2008, 4:05 pm
Filed under: Guys from "The Hills" | Tags: , , ,

 

Doug Reinhardt wants us to know he’s legit, not just some pretty boy who’s on TV.  He even has a website to prove it. 

Doug Reinhardt, self-professed "gentleman"

Doug Reinhardt, self-professed "gentleman"

Yes, go to the website and you will see lots of pictures of Doug.  Doug, shirtless.  Doug, staring penetratingly out at you.  Doug, playing baseball.  Because oh, did I mention that?  Doug plays baseball.  For the minors.  He was with the Anaheim Angels until 2007, and then signed on with a Baltimore Orioles farm team.  Then he got a knee injury…so who knows what will happen next.  But, according to the bio on his website, he has a few things to fall back on.

Let’s take a look at the bio, shall we?  It was just too priceless for me to leave alone, especially given the little I’ve gotten to know about Doug since he first appeared on The Hills a few months ago:

Doug Reinhardt is a gentleman with a strong drive for success in all aspects of his life.  His sense of humor is contagious and his charm is breathtaking.  Doug has always had strong morals and set his goals early in life.

OK.  Who did he pay to write this text?  His mother?  And when was the last time you heard a guy referred to in print as a “gentleman”—maybe in an Edith Wharton novel?  His sense of humor I can’t testify to…only perhaps that I’ve grimaced more than giggled while watching him on the show.  And as for the breathtaking charm…I suppose he had to use something to lure that group of scantily clad girls onto his private jet to surprise Brody Jenner in Cabo for his birthday.  Now that’s what I call strong morals.

Doug started playing organized baseball at 4 years old. Throughout his high school years, he gained an enormous respect for the sport. Doug’s passion for baseball ultimately leads him to turn down a baseball scholarship with USC to sign with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim as their 8th pick. His experience with the Angels has been extremely positive and has further inspired him to pursue his life-long goal to continue his career as a Professional Baseball Player. In 2007, Doug signed with the Baltimore Orioles, where he played for the season.

Yep, Doug sure does heart baseball.  Too bad he neglects to mention he had a batting average in the minors of .201.  Looks like he won’t be achieving that dream of going professional too soon, unless something drastically changes.  But a gentleman can dream, can’t he?  Or maybe just use his breathtaking charm to wheedle his way back into a lineup somewhere?  We’ll see.

Currently, Doug is recovering from a knee injury while attending Pepperdine University. Pursuing his academic goals is just as important as professional baseball. Doug will also be featured as a new cast member in the fourth season on the popular TV series, “The Hills” which will air on MTV in August 2008.

That’s right, Doug:  it’s always logical to fall back on education after a sports injury.  It’s just lucky that your parents are loaded and you didn’t have to rely on that scholarship to USC you turned down after high school, otherwise you’d be screwed.  Being rich is awesome!

Additionally, Doug diligently works to promote the success of the business he developed called Fun Facter. Doug serves as Chief Executive Officer of FUGEN Mobile, LLC and Fun Facter, LLC. Doug focuses on the core strategy of FUGEN Mobile and its ability to offer a complete mobile solution. In his role as CEO of Fun Facter he manages the deployment of new products and services and direct to consumer advertising strategies. Fun Facter creates, publishes and distributes across the US a broad range of premium mobile content, including SMS alerts, music, graphics, games and mobile community services. Founded in November 2005 Fun Facter, LLC is emerging as a leading mobile phone entertainment provider.

Mmmkay.  Here’s Doug’s definition of “complete mobile solutions.”  One of the options FUGEN Mobile offers is porn that’s delivered straight to your mobile device.  Sweet! (Remember those strong morals he was talking about earlier?)  And with Fun Facter (I’m assuming that he spelled it that way deliberately), you can get stuff like a fact of the day, a word of the day, a joke of the day, celebrity gossip, your horoscope, and (how’s this for irony):  a daily Bible verse.  Oh, Doug.  It’s like that little Bible verse washes away all the adult entertainment you’ve just uploaded.  As for the celebrity gossip, how many of you out there are wondering if he would simply text subscribers with things like:  “It’s reported that breathtaking charmer, Doug Reinhardt, will be at L.A. club “Area” tonight.  Only show up if you’re hot!”

Furthermore, Doug works with Entrepreneurial Properties Corporation where he is involved in multi-family real estate investments. Doug conducts extensive research and analysis of various metropolitan areas in the Midwest and Southwest to determine their investment potential.

Hmm.  “Multi-family real estate investments.”  “Extensive research and analysis.”  My translation?  Doug returns from a trip to Vegas and says “Dad, yo!  We were at this amazing place this weekend, and the chicks were soooo hot.  You should totally buy it.”  Or, “hey Dad, I’m stalking this new woman on TV, and it’s getting too hard because my house is so far away.  Like, miles.  But I found this place right up the hill from her that’s for sale, and I can totally see in the windows of her house with my binoculars.  I think it would be a good investment.  Besides, it would save the environment, as I wouldn’t have to use as much gas.”

 *

Since Doug is a relative newcomer to The Hills, we don’t know quite what to expect from him yet.  We do know that he started dating Lauren as the season began, and that Lauren dumped him inside of about two weeks.  And that very shortly afterwards, he caused a bit of a ruckus because he went on a date with her good friend Stephanie Pratt (a big no-no echo of Bunneygate–see the Brody Jenner post.)  And that he got arrested with Brody in Vegas.  And that he’s been seen out publicly with Holly Montag, the sister of Heidi Montag (Lauren’s former BFF and now arch-enemy.)  So he shows promise as being just as much of a loser as the rest of the guys on The Hills.  Way to go, Doug!

It’s nice to know there are still some gentlemen left in the world.

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