Six Characters in Search of a Blogger

2.2 Brody Jenner’s Bromance
November 19, 2008, 1:26 am
Filed under: Guys from "The Hills" | Tags: , ,

There is likely a tattoo hidden somewhere on Brody Jenner’s body that features a heart with his own name inscribed in it.  That’s how much he loves himself.

Look at it from his perspective: why wouldn’t he?  He’s got an excellent pedigree—he’s the son of Olympic Gold Medal decathlete Bruce Jenner and actress Linda Thompson.  So he’s handsome and athletic.  And he’s rich, although the source of his income is rather unclear, given that the closest thing to a career he seems to have is clubbing.  And throwing parties at his beach house in Malibu.  And flying off to Vegas on a whim.  And dating semi-famous women.

Brody Jenner hearts himself.

Brody Jenner hearts himself.

In fact, he has approached some of those relationships with semi-famous women as a way to build his social resumé.  (Having the right “arm charm” guarantees a paparazzi following.)  He dated former Laguna Beach star and Lauren Conrad rival Kristin Cavallari when she first moved to Hollywood, and certainly at the peak of her popularity.  From there, he moved on to a rather controversial relationship with Nicole Richie which, according to Richie, was a publicity stunt they staged together (Jenner was famously advised by his guy pal Spencer Pratt that if he could get the stick figure Richie to eat he’d become a “f***ing hero to America.”)  From there, Jenner moved on briefly to The Hills’ Lauren Conrad (and—how coincidental!—a recurring spot on the show), and has since been linked with such figures as model Cora Skinner and Playboy playmate Jayde Nicole.

If Justin Bobby is the dark, mysterious male figure on The Hills, then Jenner is definitely the narcissistic trickster.  From the time he first appeared in Season 2, courting Lauren and complimenting her smile, there is something about him that couldn’t entirely be trusted.  He struck me as the kind of guy who would pretend to talk to you, but was always busy checking himself out in the mirror or any shiny surface he could find—not unlike the vain Narcissus in Greek and Roman mythology, smitten with his own reflection.  Or he would be checking someone else out, as he is always looking for the next best thing (The AT&T LG Shine commercial he stars in with Lauren Conrad is a great example of this.)  Check it out here:

A great example of the Brody trickster effect was in one of the central events of Season 2:  Bunneygate.  The story goes like this.  Jen Bunney, one of Lauren’s longtime friends, was celebrating a birthday.  Lauren, who had recently been dating Brody (although it was nothing committed or serious), attended.  So did Brody.  Guess who Brody went home with that night?  I’ll give you one guess.  (Hint: it wasn’t Lauren.)  And guess who got blamed for Lauren’s broken heart the next day?  (Hint: it wasn’t Brody.)  Yes, somehow Mr. Self-Love, Mr. Fickle, got off scot-free.  And Jen Bunney got kicked off the show.

But if there is one group to whom Brody Jenner remains loyal, it’s to his boy posse.  With the notable exception of Spencer Pratt (with whom Jenner “broke up” in protest over the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumor Pratt had leaked) Jenner has remained steadfastly loyal to his male friends throughout the series, including Frankie Delgado, Justin Bobby and, most recently, Doug Reinhardt.  Or, should I say, they have remained steadfastly loyal to him.  These guys do everything together, including get arrested; dress alike, and finish each other’s sentences.  So it’s like Jenner is cruising around Hollywood with his own little gaggle of mini me’s.    

It’s no surprise, then, that Jenner is in development for his own reality TV show, entitled “Bromance,” which will be MTV’s male take on Paris Hilton’s BFF project.  In it, contestants will complete in various challenges in order to get the opportunity to become a part of Jenner’s entourage, and as such, to enjoy all the trappings that go along with his lifestyle.  Like dressing just like Brody.  And acting just like Brody.  And dating semi-famous women.  And clubbing.  And throwing beach parties in Malibu.  And flying off to Vegas at a moment’s notice.

But if Brody is really truthful to himself, if he’s honestly looking for bromance, he doesn’t have to look far.  He just has to look in the mirror.

(And we all know how that ended for Narcissus.  We live in hope.)


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