Filed under: The Me's I Could Have Been | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, Hawaii, life, wedding photographer
AUTHOR’S NOTE: My apologies to the people of Hawaii and the state’s native-born son, President-Elect Barack Obama, for any stereotypical generalizations put forth in this blog post. I can’t help it. I was born with the pasty skin of a New Englander and a certain warped view of gorgeous tropical places largely perpetrated by 70s television.
If I were a wedding photographer in Hawaii, maybe I would have taken this picture.
Myriad blues and turquoises of the sea and sky. The gorgeous, bright contrasts of tropical flowers on green foliage. Palm trees dancing gently in the wind. Sand soft as powder. Blood orange sunsets that make you gasp.
I’d like to think bridezillas lose their “zilla” in Hawaii, just because it is so darn beautiful. At least I’d hope so, if I was a wedding photographer.
I would, of course, be constantly wearing laserproof sunscreen as I worked. Native children would be as blinded by my whiteness during the day as they would by the flash of my camera at night, and develop some coded joke about me in Hawaiian. (Like “the white blob” or “the thing that glows in the dark.”) And I would laugh at the joke, because good weather just makes you mellow, right? I’d just be an awesome person who always felt awesome and who would say “awesome” all the time. I think that’s what constant, perfect weather does to the brain. You lose your cynicism and sarcasm and snarkiness. But without those three things, my big hobbies, what would I do with all of my free time?
The Bradys taught us: beware of the tiki.
Well, for starters, I guess I would grow pineapples in my backyard. They taste good, and besides, I got a pineapple corer as a wedding gift a couple of years ago that I’ve never used so it would give me a chance to finally try it out. And I would go to hula/Pilates fusion classes. Maybe play around with variations on poi cuisine combined with recipes from the Food Network. And I wouldn’t miss my outrigger canoe racing. I would bring along my boom box to play the Hawaii Five-O music in the background.
Thanksgiving would be a ginormous luau with roasted suckling pig on a spit for everybody instead of turkey. But I would definitely have cranberry sauce, you can’t have Thanksgiving without the cranberry sauce. From the can. And I would tell my children about the evil white man Pilgrims who used Jesus and viruses to kill the locals. So three important lessons for them from the holiday: 1. our ancestors were bad men, 2. Christianity can kill, and 3. it’s VERY important that they always wash their hands. (Because I would have had a gaggle of children, of course, fathered by my husband as well as various tourists to the islands and guests at weddings I’d worked at over the years. I’m guessing the tropical awesomeness of Hawaii would make me uberfertile and up for it all the time.)
I would volunteer at the local tiki taboo society, intent on discouraging tourists from picking up stray idols, warning them about errant tarantulas and keeping them out of the clutches of jealous archaeologists that look like Vincent Price. (Beware of archaeologists, people! Have you learned nothing from the Brady family?) I would be a part of a Don Ho tribute band, because I think I could dig the ukelele, do my own riff on “Tiny Bubbles.” You know it.
What else would this idyllic Hawaiian life entail? Maybe my husband would be a surfer by day (could you at least try, honey?) and an astronomer by night, and together we would go to the Keck Observatory and spend our evenings looking for killer asteroids that might destroy the earth. On weekends we would go to Kilauea and watch the lava flow, where I would obsessively fight the urge to lick its glowing gooeyness because it looks like radiant taffy.
Oh yes, and I would take photos. Of brides and grooms. But that, I think, would be the boring part.
Filed under: The Me's I Could Have Been | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, Google, life, New Year, resolutions
When I think about the New Year, I Google myself.
The turning of the New Year, for me, is always a bit bittersweet. As each one passes, and I look forward to the next, fabricating and forgetting resolutions, I am struck by a certain amount of regret. I’m at the stage in my life where I can see the paths not taken, and wonder where they would have led me if I had had a little less fear. A little more gumption. Or an innate GPS system.
So once in a while, I Google myself, just for fun. Any trace of me has long since left the internet, or I am buried so far down I lose patience as I dig; it’s because I have one of those names that is fairly common, at least in my neck of the woods. A quick search in Massachusetts on whitepages.com suggest that there are at least 132 of me in the state–rather daunting results. At least for someone who used to think of herself as being pretty unique.
But what’s fun is that, for a moment, I get to imagine myself in those identities, those professions, in those varied Google guises, and try to conjure in my mind what those alternate existences might be like. In most cases, I rather enjoy what my namesakes have been up to–interestingly enough, they’ve chosen lives for themselves that aren’t so far from dreams I once had. Or might have had, in the right circumstances.
So if you don’t mind, this week, I’m going to do just that: dream a little. Entertain possibilities. I’ll feature the me’s I could have been–and heck! Could still be, if I play my cards right.
Andrew Sullivan’s The Daily Dish: Never did I think I’d be reading a blog written by a Republican, and enjoying it. Sullivan is topical, erudite, and compelling…and while some of his posts are much shorter than others, they will make you feel like you have a sound idea about what’s going on in the world.
Defective Yeti: Blogger Matthew Baldwin makes hilarious daily observations in his blog. But, to be honest, he had me at yeti.
I, Cringely: My husband swears by this one. When I asked my husband how to define the blog, he said, “Robert Cringely is a technology evangelist looking at the impact of technology on everyday life.” (My husband is wicked smaht.) I just started reading it, and I’m very impressed. Cringely’s blog is really interesting–and even provocative–stuff, offering predictions about technological advances and the politics of technology in the coming months and years. (Note that Cringely’s blog/column The Pulpit was on pbs.org for more than 10 years, so past posts will be found here.)
Life Begins at 41…or maybe 43: Louise blogs about her midlife crisis and other interesting topics from her home in Canada. And she blogs every day, which is no small feat. Go Louise!
Margaret and Helen: Two eighty-somethings blog about politics, their families, recipes, life. I’m not *entirely* convinced it isn’t one of their grandsons (Matthew) doing the posting–the font is so small and the prose so seamless it seems to give things away–but I’m willing to put my skepticism on the backburner in order to keep reading.
Soule Mama: Amanda Soule is an amazing mother of 4 who lives in Portland, Maine. In her blog, she’s the mom I’d like to be (that is, if I ever have a child): creative, warm, and (not to make a pun here) soulful. Of course, if I did become a mom, I doubt I’d create such wonderful projects as she–I was born without the crafting gene. But I’d like to believe I was capable of such things. Sigh.
Things I Bought that I Love: Mindy Kaling–otherwise known as Kelly Kapoor on The Office–brings the blogosphere what I’d call a hilarious virtual shopping spree. She loves stuff: purses and clothes and makeup and lotions and jewelry and gadgets. And so will you, after reading her blog. Seriously. I don’t get whiteheads, but after reading her post about some magical potion that will remove them in 24 hours, I want to buy some.
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: blog, blogging, dooce.com, Heather B. Armstrong, bloggers, dooce
Heather B. Armstrong, blogger at dooce.com
Heather B. Armstrong is a bit of a hero in the blogosphere: she actually lost her job because she blogged about it.
That makes her a bit of a blogging revolutionary; but what also makes her one of the rebels of the blogosphere is her witty, irreverent writing about life and motherhood. I dare you to read dooce.com and not be at least mildly amused. Or mildly shocked. She goes where most bloggers don’t dare to.
The other reason I chose Heather’s blog is the fact that she has managed to turn it into her own industry; not only making enough money with it to support herself, but also her husband, who assists with technical aspects of the blog.
So get your dooce on. Go on, you know you want to.
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, Gary Arndt, travel, world travel, www.everything-everywhere.com
Gary Arndt on Easter Island
Imagine selling your house (granted, in this market, pretty difficult, but try to remember what it was like only a few years ago.) Imagine putting your belongings in storage. And imagine packing a small bag with a few items of clothing, a camera, and a laptop, and taking off on a trip around the world. For an unspecified amount of time. And without a detailed itinerary.
That’s exactly what Gary Arndt did in March, 2007–he left his home in Minnesota to go on the adventure of a lifetime by himself. I have so much admiration for him; to me, it’s extraordinary that he has taken this giant bunjee jump (both literally and figuratively) into life.
What’s great is that Gary, in his blog www.everything-everywhere.com, takes us along for the ride. And if you have the travel bug, as I do, you’ll find yourself inspired by his world wandering.
Go, Gary! (His next stop is Dubai.)
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, Danny Miller, Eartha Kitt, Jew Eat Yet?
Topical, funny, touching, and above all, well-written, Danny Miller’s Jew Eat Yet? is one of the blogs I most look forward to reading from week to week. It balances the personal with the informative in such an elegant way–I hold it up as a model of the way I’d like to blog.
Miller, a writer and editor who lives in LA, gives us posts about history, about his family, about movies, about music, about politics, and about pop culture. Reading it, for me, is the equivalent of curling up on the couch on Sunday morning with a blanket, a cup of tea, and a good book.
So give it a try! His recent post about the recently deceased Eartha Kitt is right up my alley–it illuminates a fascinating incident in Kitt’s life that many may have forgotten. Thanks, Danny!
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, movies, Roger Ebert, Siskel and Ebert
I miss Siskel and Ebert’s At the Movies. I miss their acerbic wit, their open (and even somewhat bitter) rivalry, and erudite analysis of modern films–they were able to transform certain movies from obscure arthouse flicks into something I really wanted to see.
Roger Ebert
Gene Siskel, of course, passed away due to surgical complications from a brain tumor in 1999. But Roger Ebert is still with us, staging his own heroic battle with thyroid cancer that has since spread to his salivary gland and jaw bone. The extensive surgical work that has been performed on him has left him unable to speak.
But he is not without a voice: he continues to review films, as well as make observations about life, politics, the world and the movie industry in Roger Ebert’s Journal, which is featured on the Chicago Sun-Times website.
Well worth a read; pay special attention to the comments section, because his readers are also great writers.
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: AKMuckraker, Alaska, blog, blogger, blogging, mudflats, Politics, Sarah Palin, themudflats.net
Sometimes a writer and a historical moment collide in a fateful and wonderful way.
Here's mud in your eye, Governor: AKMuckraker slings the truth about Alaskan politics at themuflats.net
That was the case this year with AKMuckraker and themudflats.net; a clever and very well-written blog about Alaskan politics that suddenly exploded onto the international blogosphere scene when an obscure Republican governor was picked as John McCain’s Vice Presidential running mate. (Mudflats are a very clever geological metaphor for the political situation in our nation’s largest state–read about them here.)
Yes, AKMuckraker gives us the Sarah Palin show, up close. It’s very well worth a read–if only to discover the fate of Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston’s grandma. I mean, of course, the one that isn’t the meth addict/dealer. (Although she could have her fair share of appearances, too.)
Filed under: Six Bloggers Blogging | Tags: blog, blogger, blogging, Celiac Disease, food, foodie, gluten, Gluten Free Girl, Shauna Ahern
Shauna James Ahern, the Gluten Free Girl
Shauna Ahern’s blog, Gluten Free Girl, was the first blog I ever consciously read. It was two years ago (yes, I’m quite behind the curve) and I had just been diagnosed with Celiac Disease–an autoimmune disorder in which the body attacks itself when gluten is consumed (wheat, barley, rye, malt, and other derivatives.) Now it may sound fairly simple to avoid these things, but it isn’t: gluten is what makes pizza dough chewy. It makes bread and cookies worthwhile. It’s in soy sauce. And pasta. And movie popcorn. And some candy. And some meat products. And spices. And envelope glue. And beer. And much, much more. (I even have to avoid microscopic amounts–so I cook in separate pans from my husband, rarely eat out, and have to wash my hands obsessively after I touch anything suspicious.)
My whole world turned upside down when I got my diagnosis; I didn’t know where to turn, knew no one else with the disease, and felt doomed that I’d never be able to enjoy eating again. I’d be living in the equivalent of a culinary plastic bubble.
And then I started reading Shauna’s blog.
She’s a very talented and lyrical writer; and as I read her posts, day by day, the great cloud hovering over my head began to slowly dissipate. I started to think, hey, maybe I can handle this. Shauna provided important insights and advice, even when she didn’t mean to (just hearing her discuss day-to-day trivialities was educational.) She listed recipes and products I would likely enjoy (like the best kind of gluten free pasta, special celiac flour mixes and alternative grains that were OK to eat.) And most importantly, she sang about her new life as a celiac. She sang about food and all its possibilities. She sang about how her life had changed so much for the better because of her diagnosis–not only because she ate better, but because she lived better. And most importantly, she sang about everything that had happened to her life since she started writing about it–it was while blogging that she met her husband (a professional chef) Dan; married him; honeymooned with him in Italy; and gave birth to their first child. And mind you, she has done all of this since she turned 40. Her life, and her blog, have become about the everlasting “yes,” the positive perspective she brings to everyday challenges (she even got “yes” tattooed on her wrist to remind herself of this.) Shauna is, without doubt, one of the best examples of the law of attraction (in its New Age sense) that I have ever stumbled upon.
Shauna's book, Gluten Free Girl (based on posts from her blog), debuted last year to wide praise.
Now, I will likely never wax as poetical about food as Shauna does. (Although I like to cook sometimes, I do miss being able to pick up take out on a whim, or go to any restaurant I like, or eat cake at a birthday party.) And I will likely never be as radiantly happy as she–I was raised as an Irish Catholic in New England, after all. (That means a certain amount of skepticism and cynicism will always be a part of my genetic make-up.) But although I will never embrace my celiac diagnosis with the everlasting “yes” she has demonstrated, Shauna has certainly helped to move me away from the “oh, God, no” reaction I had two years ago. For me, it is now more like an everlasting “hmmmm.”
And that means I’ve come a long way, baby.
So thanks to Shauna for her inspiration, her wisdom, and her commitment to her craft. It has made all the difference to me!
Please take the time to visit Shauna’s website, visit www.glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com.
